Patrick Bateman is one of the most attractive characters I've encountered. I'd be lying through my teeth if I said his psychopath tendencies have nothing to do with it. Despite the fact that if he were a real person he would probably murder me with one of his many ingenious methods of torture (or probably because of that), I still wonder what we'd talk about if we had dinner at a posh Manhattan restaurant. At a good table. Would he include snippets of his psycho-killer desires between ordering entree and dessert? Would I hear him? What would he say about my obviously brand-unconscious clothes, the mismatches, the casual slippers and lack of faux pearl earrings, and the fact that I really don't mind nonvintage champagne? Would it make him want to kill me faster? How would he do it? Am I starting to sound a little obsessive?